The Life of 'Brian'

initially posted on Substack on August 15, 2024

For some reason, I get skittish when I try to clearly visualize what I want my life to look like - Just when I think I have it, all this other bullshit comes up - fucking brian (I call the part of my brain responsible for intrusive thoughts brian so I can ask it, “What need is this behavior meeting for you/us? Is there another way we can work to get that need met for you?” It’s been helpful. I talk to brian as though it’s a toddler constantly getting into things).

And just now, derp - I got the intuitive response back, “That’s because you need to know how you want to FEEL when you have the life you want. Remember, your current Mate didn’t show up until you focused on how you wanted to FEEL with a good, healthy connected partner.”

So - I started manifesting through writing:

In my best life, I feel no physical pain unless I have an immediate injury. My body is a receptive organism, and I am fully connected to what my body has to say to me about our environment and the flora and fauna around us. I see my body like a vehicle or ‘encounter suit’ built to thrive in this planet’s environment and move to meet its needs as quickly and reasonably as I can - after all, I need this fuckin’ thing to keep working if I’m going to thrive in this place. I deeply appreciate my body for the information it provides me as I move through the world. When needed, I am able to do intensive self system diagnostics of the body/vessel through view screens that pop up in the non-local HUD in the astral plane that I can overlay over what I see in this timeline/life. I am also able to do intensive system diagnostics on other organisms, healing and teaching them how to move forward in healing within themselves. I am part of an amazing supportive and compassionate community, and we all do what we can for each other, when we are able. There are no ‘witch wars’ - they aren’t needed, because we all work on keeping our egoic dicks out of the apple pie that is our community. We strive for as little hierarchy as possible within. I am sharing an abundance of love with my partner/s, letting that fill me up so that I can let it echo out into the world whenever I am out and about. We live on abundant green land that has more than we need to thrive, so we donate it to the surrounding communities in case they need it. We raise stones on the land and hold regular spiritual ceremonies where people can come and immerse themselves in nature - there are ornate altars for many beings threaded throughout the property and all may come to spend time in ceremony, meditation - or just sharing in community.

Always moving forward, letting myself be pulled towards where I most want to go.